February 2nd, 2006

Inspire me...

Poll #665153 Inspire me...

What would you like me to write about?

Books
2(14.3%)
Cooking
0(0.0%)
The state of my fridge
1(7.1%)
Suburbia
0(0.0%)
Men
0(0.0%)
Women
0(0.0%)
Flying pigs
2(14.3%)
Stationery
0(0.0%)
What I would do with the £125 million pound EuroMillions jackpot
0(0.0%)
Sex
1(7.1%)
Music
0(0.0%)
Domain registrations
1(7.1%)
Building planning
0(0.0%)

What would you prefer me to shut up about?

Vegetables
3(75.0%)
Vegetables
0(0.0%)
Vegetables
1(25.0%)
Everything; you're a whining loser
0(0.0%)

(no subject)

Okay, the first two requests have been for incisive and witty commentary on Flying pigs (requested by colonel_maxim) and on The state of my fridge (requested by maviscruet).

I could really tie Flying pigs into the whole Lottery thing, I suppose; my chances of seeing flying pigs, unless I happen to peer out of the window when some of the local constabulary are hot-footing it from one place to another by helicopter, are low. That said, I have at least seen imagery of porcine aviators in the last few months; Pink Floyd's set at Live 8 included footage of pigs over Battersea Power Station, shot for the Animals. The footage was shot, that is, not the pigs.

With sufficient encouragement, of course, pigs fly quite well. I'm thinking of the type of encouragement provided by a trebuchet, rather than by simply launching pigs off a cliff; I'm not sure that the theory which suggests that it should eventually be possible to evolve flying monkeys by throwing sufficiently many of them off a cliff would work with pigs. (For one thing, eventually you will have a very large pile of dead monkeys, possibly topped off with a layer of monkeys who are still alive and rather pissed off about having been thrown off a cliff. What with pigs being larger than monkeys, in general, you'll reach that stage rather sooner, and thus with less time for them to evolve the wings, levitation or other means of flying.)

It is possible to have your very own flying pig on your desk. I'm not sure where I would put one, since my desk is, um, rather overcrowded (which is one reason why the other poll option was The state of my fridge and not The state of my desk). In fact, there seems to be quite a variety of flying pig merchandise. colonel_maxim, have you considered one of those rather natty hats for workwear?


My fridge does not contain any flying pigs. (Or at least it didn't when I last checked.)

Okay, perhaps I'm short-changing Mavis there a little... ;)

My fridge has finally seen the back of most of the stuff left over from Christmas (which is a good thing since it's now February). At the moment, what with there being more real cooking going on due to the v*g*t*ble deliveries, it seems to be getting sight of more leftovers than usual, and rather fewer ready-meals.

As derided in Fight Club, the top shelf of my (main) fridge is a shrine to the Great God Condiment -- well, that and jam. And lime pickle, or does that count as a condiment?

The fridge which is built into the kitchen tends to get a bit over-enthusiastic about freezing anything you put in the salad coolers at the bottom. (I do not recommend frozen lettuce.) Come the revolution... er, come the building work this summer... that fridge and its associated teeny freezerlet will be going the way of the dodo, to be replaced by something better, newer, and not built in with the plug behind it so you can only turn it off to defrost it if you pull the fridge out. Whoever designed that bit of the kitchen should have been shot.

None of the above

For those who've been following the saga of my mother's adventures with naturalisation paperwork, I note that I've just had a proper estimate for the provision of a certified copy of the certificate she needs -- which I assume means they've found the right one... -- so that should be with me in the next few days, fingers crossed.