Bibliophile Lass (bibliogirl) wrote,
Bibliophile Lass

So I needed, today, to do some printing for the game we are playing in this weekend.

  1. Download Word docs with various stuff in, including one that needs to be printed out and pasted onto a flipchart.
  2. Open doc with Word Viewer. Some fonts missing, formatting very wonky.
  3. Install required fonts.
  4. At least one font still missing. Formatting still screwed.
  5. Try viewing doc in Word (on rotwang's PC; we don't use Word), rather than Word Viewer. Formatting not improved.
  6. Grab header and footer graphics out of Word. Find out that for some reason, only half of graphic gets grabbed.
  7. Okay, this is fixable, take graphic into PaintShop Pro, mirror it, paste alongside other half, lather, rinse, repeat.
  8. Create WordPro document with required text in, header and footer. Fiddle with fonts etc.
  9. Eventually get WordPro doc to look like artist's conception of what Word doc probably should have looked like, were it not sized for American paper sizes (I think that was what was originally causing formatting funkiness).
  10. Save, and print.
  11. Find out that occasional printer wackiness where it loses part lines out of WordPro (I really must fix this some time) has kicked in and many pages not useable.
  12. Email WordPro document to rotwang, ask him to use his magic print-to-PDF utility and return me the (doubtless huge) PDF file.
  13. rotwang tries to do so, and watches as his machine grinds to a halt... allegedly the PDF file is 341Mb after 5 pages (out of 75). Must be the graphics.
  14. Sound of cursing from other side of room as rotwang finds that the print job has run him out of disk space, thereby causing Notes to corrupt one of his databases.
  15. What're we up to now? Plan D or so? Print a batch of pages with JUST the header and footer graphics, and get rotwang to do me a PDF of just the text for each page (in the appropriate font) without header and footer. Plan: run paper through printer twice.
  16. More harsh language from other side of room as rotwang had just shut down his PC. Wait (a while) for it to reboot. He emails me required PDF of text-only version.
  17. Start printing text-only version onto headed paper in small batches to avoid jamming. Suddenly realise have put headed/footed paper into printer the wrong way round for one batch. Dubious whether anyone will notice (or indeed care) but reprint that bit anyway.
  18. Additional plan; print extra copy of text-only version so that I have something to use to put pages together in right order once have finished all batches and reprinted where necessary.
  19. Make mental note to plant tree to make up for paper wastage.
  20. Because of reprints etc., run out of headed/footed paper. Remember I printed some blank sheets earlier to use for another purpose. Shove those in printer and make mental note to print off some more.
  21. Still not enough headed/footed paper. Okay. Print off text-only version, number pages, make list of what needs reprinting.
  22. Try to print off more headed/footed paper. Where has the footer gone?
  23. Great. Now the header's vanished as well.
  24. Reboot PC. Reopen file. Print. Yes, now both header and footer are there. Print some more copies.
  25. Count pages. Realise only last two are missing. Reprint those.
  26. Hurrah! One clean, complete copy with headers/footers, one clean copy without headers/footers. Elapsed time; about four hours.

And I do this for fun, again?

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